Perfectly ready

Having five children in tow with me almost constantly, I am often approached by others wondering if we will have more children. Many ask if we will try for a boy (being we have all girls). My typical, polite response is that "I don't know - maybe" to the first question. About the boy question, "I don't think so...we only make girls it seems".

I realized lately that my typical responses are just apathetic and robot responses. I haven't tried to delve into the whys or hows or ifs as I've just been too busy living and enjoying the children we have been blessed with. I haven't tried to analyze and soul search if I truly was open to having more children. I knew that I would be fine with adding another child to our family, but did I really want more was a question that I have not wanted to answer until now. Waffling on the issue is an understatement. Indecisive - yes, absolutely true.

With the talk in the media about the woman who just had octuplets (making her total 14 children), there has been speculation about her irresponsibility. Not being one to judge her, I am not going to go there but instead I brought it to my own self to ask if it is irresponsible for us to have more children. I read this lovely post today and she put into words all the thoughts I've had on the Octomom and having a large family of our own.

I forced myself to answer that question of "do I want more children?" and I found the answer to be - yes. Before now, my indecision left me feeling uneasy and hollow. Answering that question for myself and not for others who ask me in passing, now leaves me feeling happy and certain.

Will we have more children? There's One who knows for sure, but I do know that I will happily welcome and want any child that may come to us. I love little babies and they bring true joy to my life. Pure joy! Adding to our family in the form of little people couldn't be more wonderful. They are only with us for a little time to nurture into bigger people after all and then the most wonderful thing happens as our family loves and cares for each other. So instead of having babies, maybe we should think of it as having family instead. Could there be anything more wonderful than having a family of your own to love and care for?

I also found through my soul searching that I am more ready now than ever before in my life to welcome a new baby into my life. I am more confident as a mother, wiser and at ease with the care a new baby brings. I have found my way to being the mother I want to be and I truly love motherhood. It's not always easy and at times I lose my patience, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I am perfectly ready. I am ready for whatever the future holds for us and it's a great place to be.

Peace and love,

~Lisa