Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Bringing you here - Part III

Before I finish our story, I want you to know a little bit about how I view pregnancy and birth. Being pregnant is an amazing, miraculous event and something I will cherish the rest of my life. I view birth as a normal process, not an illness and thus I have chosen to have midwives as part of my birthing team and to have my baby at home. There is nothing more wonderful than being at home during labor and being tucked into my own bed after birth with my new baby. The whole family gets to be a part of the process and to bond with the baby shortly after birth.

My big, beautiful baby boy, you were finally born! You were purple and blue and took a little long to take that first breath. But when you did, I felt my body relax completely.
Unfortunately, it didn't end there with a beautiful birth. You still didn't even have a name yet. As you waited to take that first breath, I started to hemmorage. I felt the gushes come one right after the other as Amber had me push the placenta out quickly as they clamped the cord. I could feel the blood gushing from my body in spurts and felt my midwife jump into action. I could hear the urgency in her voice as they shot me with pitocin several times - 7 times I think - and something else (methrogen?) a few times, plus the continual massage of my uterus (which was so painful! - it should be called torture instead of a massage). We did what was neccessary.

The bleeding was under control finally, but we decided to call the EMTs to come start an IV to get fluids back into me quickly. It was probably a good thing that I was flat on my back during the birth because I would have passed out from the blood loss if I had to be moved (like I did with Abbey's birth). They estimated I lost about 6 pints of blood - oh why, did this keep happening to me?

We eventually declined the hospital transport from the EMTs as I had stablized and the bleeding was under control. I was able to nurse you, our new baby boy and hold you while I ate some food. But I was pretty weak and worn out and it was hard to position you. Then the midwives took you to look you over and get your measurements. Such a big boy - all of 10 lbs, 10 oz and 22 3/4 inches long! What a big boy! The biggest baby yet our midwives have delivered (it used to be Abbey - but you beat her...we didn't need to break a record you know?!) Your sisters all got to look at you and hold you after that while I tried to rest.
Our midwives finally were able to leave around 5pm and we snuggled in bed with our sweet new baby. You had the cutest little fuzzy newborn ears but you were also quite bruised from the birth. What a day for the both of us!

It wasn't over yet..... by 8pm, I could tell my bleeding was starting to pick back up some, not bad, but definitely increasing so we called the midwife, Amber, to come back. I was getting nervous about making it through the night and I also had to go pee, but just couldn't seem to do it in my bed on a pad or in a bed pan which they would have preferred I do. Talk about a mental thing! When she arrived, Amber and your Dad decided to carry me to the bathroom so I could go. I was scared to get up, but I had to go bad and it was starting to hurt! Luckily, I was able to go easily once on the potty, but then I started to feel really bad and I told Amber so. The next thing I knew, I was in bed again waking up. I had passed out again and I just started crying. I promised Jeff I would do everything not to have this happen again...and then it did. I just wanted to get up and take care of my baby, but I couldn't.

The EMTs were called back as I was waking up and I could hear your Dad with them on the phone. I could see the panic in his face and hear it in his voice as well as Amber's. I had passed a huge clot when they picked me up too...it may have been leftover placenta. The EMTs arrived again as did my Mom. It was time to go to the hospital so the nurses could take care of me the rest of the night. The girls were crying and scared for their Mom and I was crying too.
We were blessed with strong and kind EMTs who treated us with the best care. As they took me out, I could see one of them kneeling in the hallway with my girls. He came out later to the ambulance to tell me that the girls were upset, but he thought he was able to calm them down. He said, everything would be okay.

As I layed in the ambulance surrounded by about 5 big EMTs, I told them they needed to tell me their names since my baby didn't have a name yet. The one who had talked to the girls, shouted out "Brett!". A couple of others told me their names too and some of their sons names.
Once at the hospital, we were finally settled into our room by 3am. Our emergency room visit was scary and long, filled with a dr who didn't want to listen to us about the care I needed. I felt very violated by him and sad that we had to be there. So much for the rest we had hoped for. The nurses kept coming in and out all night long. I just wanted to go home by the morning so I could sleep at this point. Your Dad stayed with me so that you could stay as well.

Things had calmed down by the morning and we had a better doctor seeing us but they wanted to keep us there another night. The IV of pitocin was still going, the methrogen pills, the pain pills, the vitamins, the stool softener...I was so tired of it. My bleeding was all but over and still they kept the drugs flowing and the catheter inserted even though I could walk down the hall. I had to prove myself before they would do anything. So walked I did - even in the middle of the night the nurse came to get me to take a walk down the hall to see if I could do it without passing out. I would do anything to go home, so I walked.

Another night of being woken up by different nurses, one to give me meds, one to take my stats, one to take my blood (like I hadn't lost enough!). I had to educate them on co-sleeping and explain myself over and over (like a mother of 6 didn't know what to do with a new baby). I was in tears the next morning from exhaustion. All I wanted to do was nurse my new baby and that is all you wanted to do. I could hear your swallowing and knew that you would be a nursing champ.

After two nights, we were finally released and went home as fast as we could. They tried to shower us with sample bags of formula and we left them right there in the room. I walked out with my baby and we headed for home where our beautiful girls were waiting for us. My cousin had come down from Dallas to help with the girls and so she and my Mom were also there. They all greeted us with welcome home signs and a delicious meal - I was so hungry - the hospital food was just awful. We were finally tucked into our own bed at home again and I layed you on my chest as we snuggled in together.

Each birth is different and a treasure, so it happened the way it was supposed to happen and in the end we had you, our sweet baby boy. We were so happy that you were finally here!

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